No More Feelings
by sagehawk
Summary: Regina tries to commit suicide after her mother's death.


Disclaimer: Don't own a damn thing

Notes: Someone on Tumblr mentioned they were surprised that Regina hasn't tried to commit suicide yet. So I decided to write a one shot on it just to see how it could play out. Takes place right at the end of The Miller's Daughter.

"Regina, stop!" Snow White's voice rang through Gold's shop as she ran around the corner, prince Charming at her back. But it was too late. Regina's mother was already dead, lying in her arms. Regina looked up at Snow, tears in her eyes.

"You did this?" Regina sounded angry but it was faux. The truth was all she wanted to do was die. She was suddenly tired but she knew what everyone was expecting, an evil, angry vengeful queen. The truth was that, in this moment she realized that despite Snow's trickery of using love to kill her own mother, that she was right. That love was the most important thing. Had she of not witnessed this fact on her own mother's face just seconds ago, maybe she would of taken her own threat more seriously, rather than just see it as a line in a play her character was supposed to say.

"I will kill you for this!" Regina spat out at Snow White.

* * *

Henry had been with Emma and the Charmings, and it had been a week since Cora's death. She surprisingly hadn't heard from any of them. It wasn't surprising because they cared about how she was doing it was surprising because they hadn't come over to talk her out of trying to kill poor Snow. Regina even though she wouldn't admit it out loud, wanted them to come over and try and talk her out of it, because at least then she would know she mattered to them in one way or another.

Despite what her mother's dying words were Regina still couldn't feel her worth. In fact at this point she couldn't feel anything; she was in a daze sitting on her couch with some apple cider when the front door bell sounded. She didn't hear it though as she reached for a knife sitting on her coffee table. She pulled up the sleeve of her pant suit jacket and rested the blade on the skin of her arm.

Many thoughts went through her mind about what would happen after she was dead. Some meaningful, such as, how traumatic would it be on Henry if it was him who found her. Others not so important and rather silly she figured, to worry about considering the seriousness of her decision. Like, whether her couch would be destroyed and if not who would want it after it was stained in her blood. Perhaps it would be auctioned off to various fairy tale characters as a souvenir, she thought bitterly. Or perhaps people would think her slitting her wrists was too peaceful for her?

She finally slid the blade over her wrists diagonally, deciding that it would be nice to simply feel something other than nothing. She decided she need to also see blood, her own, to also confirm that she was even alive in the first place.

She heard a sharp intake of breath behind her and looked up quickly. It was Emma Swan, god damn Emma Swan. The last person she wanted to see her in such a vulnerable state. Regina's mask came back and she turned the knife on Emma. Regina's own blood dripping from it.

"What the hell are you doing here Miss Swan? Don't you know what a fucking door bell is?" Regina said in anger. She stood up to get a better position on the blond in case she tried to attack her. Emma just looked at the knife and then at Regina's other wrist. Blood was pouring down and completely covering her hand as it fell in to a puddle on the bright white carpet.

Emma raised her hands in defense and said, "Regina I am just here to help. Let me get you a towel and a bandage for your wrist. Then we can talk."

"No, how about this," Regina began taking a step closer to Emma, "You get the hell out of my house and never come back." Emma just stayed her ground looking in to the darker woman's eyes.

"I don't think Henry would forgive me if I just let you die." She said simply. Regina closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was starting to feel dizzy, but she was able to keep her ground.

"Good, fuck you. Then maybe he'll see none of you really give a –" Regina started to feel the room spin. She dropped then knife and grabbed the arm of the sofa to keep her balance. Emma tried helping by grabbing her arm to keep her steady.

"Don't touch me!" Regina snarled. But Emma didn't listen and helped her back in to a sitting position on the couch.

"Now wait here while I get something to stop the bleeding." Emma told her and went towards the stairs.

"Like I am moving anywhere anytime soon," Regina snarled under her breath.

* * *

"So what did she say?" Mary Margret asked curiously as Emma walked through the door.

"Well her plan certainly isn't what she says it was." Emma said taking off her shoes. Mary Margret's eye brows scrunched together and Emma thought that this was one of those moments where she saw how related they were. "I walked in on her slitting her own wrists…" Emma said as she walked over to her mother in the kitchen. Marry Margret looked down at her toes in regret. This isn't how she wanted any of this to go. She pirsed her lips together and looked up at Emma.

"How are we supposed to fix this?"

"We? You are going to fix it. This is your mess," Emma pointed out.

"Me? How am I supposed to fix something with someone, that wouldn't even take an apology from me for something I didn't mean to do when I was a little girl?" Mary Margret shouted.

"I don't know, but you better figure it out fast because there is a little boy in that room that's paying for both of your mistakes." Emma says referring to Henry who has, like Regina, been doing nothing but moping in his room feeling sorry for himself for more than a week.

* * *

Regina's hand wrapped around the most important organ of the human body and yanked hard ripping it out of its owner's chest. It sat glowing in her hand as she held it up to Snow's face. Emma came running around the corner but she was too late. Snow instinctively put a hand to her chest in shock.

"Regina I know your in pain, but this isn't the way. This wont bring anyone one back." Emma said pleading with her to do the right thing.

"No but I will finally know peace." Regina says back not taking her eye off Snow.

"Think of what Henry will think." Emma continues.

"Henry isn't enough anymore Miss Swan." Regina replies starting to crush the heart in her hand. The pain is excruciating and Regina falls to her knees. Emma runs over to her confused.

"She ripped her own heart out Emma! I just came over here to talk and she… she just ripped it out!" Snow says frantically still shocked at what she has seen.

"Regina, give it to me, stop!" Emma says wrapping her hands around Regina's fist with her own heart in it pealing at her fingers. "Please don't!"

"What the hell do you care Miss Swan? Afraid that Henry will hate you once he realizes you couldn't save everyone?" Regina squeezes a bit harder and she gasps out in pain. She can feel her life draining. She would have fell completely to the ground but Emma still had a hold on her arm with her hands frantically trying to get her to let go of her own heart.

"It's not that please! Regina just let go! Please just stop!" Emma says frantically. Tears start to form in her eyes as she looks up at Regina. Regina's features soften as she realizes that Emma cares beyond just what Henry thinks. Regina uses her other hand to lightly touch Emma's face.

"You'll both be better off without me." She says. Than crushes her heart even harder. The heart turns in to a pile of dust on the side walk as Regina takes her last breath. Emma's tears start to fall as she rocks Regina's body back and forth. Snow is still standing watching the exchange stunned at what she is witnessing. She walks over to her daughter and Regina's lifeless body.

"Maybe this was for the best." Snow says trying to comfort Emma.

"The hell it is!" Emma shouts at her.

"Come on. We can't do anything sitting out here." Snow tries to grab Emma and pull her up but she pushes her away. One of her tears falls off her cheek and lands into the pile of dust that was once Regina's heart.

Emma opens her mouth when suddenly Regina starts coughing. "Oh my god, Regina!" Emma wipes some hair out of her eyes. "You're alive! How?" Once she catches her breath Regina looks over at her heart reformed lying next to them on the ground then looks up at Emma shock all over her face.

"It can't be." Snow's voice sounds strained.

Regina shoves Emma away from her frantically and gets to her feet.

"This is some trick! What have you done?" She says looking from Snow to Emma.

"Nothing! You were dead! And I was crying and you just suddenly-!" Emma's words fell out of her mouth. She didn't have an explanation.

"I think you know exactly what this is Regina. Her tear fell in the dust-" Snow began.

"No, I do not love your daughter. Not to mention even if I did this is impossible. True love can't bring someone back; if it could then Daniel wouldn't be dead!" Regina said interrupting Snow. With each of her words she poked her in the chest.

"Maybe it can given the right circumstance." Snow offers not trying to anger Regina more. Regina silently wonders if she isn't actually dead and this isn't her own personal hell.


End file.
